Hate and Love
by Moonfire14
Summary: Nico tries to come to terms with his feelings for Percy. Set after HoH. Slight HoH spoilers. Rated T for mentions of cutting and attempted suicide. All chapters now revised.
1. Chapter 1

**This idea hit me so hard. I felt kinda bad for Nico in the last book House of Hades when he admitted that he had had a crush on Percy. And then I felt even worse since I don't believe Nico was telling the truth about giving up on Percy. Stupid Percy. why did you have to be so straight. I hope that in the last book Nico will reveal his feelings to Percy but at the same time I don't want him to cause Percy will just break his heart in the end.**

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Nico hated Percy Jackson. No he didn't but wanted with all his heart to be able to because the truth was harder to face. He was in love with the raven haired teen. Why did it have to be Percy. Forget that it was a guy. He just didn't want it to be Percy mainly for two reasons. One reason was the son of Poseidon was as straight as a metal pole. The second was Percy was his friend.

For a short while Nico had tried to act like he hated Percy but in truth he hated himself for the warm bubbly feelings Percy gave him. Bianca had been the only one who understood and she died while with Percy. Wasn't that enough reason to hate the boy and Percy had even promised to keep her safe. But all it had taken was one look into those pleading sea green eyes and he was gone again. Nothing Percy could do would make Nico hate him.

So many sleepless nights full of images that would tease him. Fantasys that would never be. It hurt so bad. Nico grew to hate Annabeth and her annoying smile, the way she kissed Percy, the way she laughed when he was around. That should be Nico smiling, kissing, laughing.

Nico was ashamed of himself and that's what led to the self inflicted cuts on his pale arms. His tears mixed with his blood as it ran down to his elbow. Something would have to be done about the throbbing pain in his heart. Something permanent but for now the pain from the cuts was enough to distract him.

Nico rose early in the morning, his mind already set on what to do. The son of Hades walked briskly to cabin three. He knocked and waited until a half dressed Percy came to the door. Nico was on him in a second. He tackled him to the floor and they wrestled on the floor both trying to gain the upper hand in the fight. Percy didn't have a clue what was happening but he did know that Nico had not came to be freindly. Nico ended up pinning Percy's legs in between his own and Percy's arms above his head. He had planned on punching the life out the raven but at the moment he looked so darn kissable. So Nico kissed him. Since that was probably the only time he would get to kiss Percy he went all out. Oddly enough Percy didn t resist.

Nico broke away from the kiss and tried to run out the door as fast as he could but Percy stopped him by grabbing his arm just below his elbow. The action caused Nico's black long sleeve to be pulled up and reveal the cuts. Percy stared opened mouthed at the cuts and he looked like he was about to say something but then Nico twisted in his grip and socked him hard in the jaw. Percy let go while reeling away with a pained cry. Nico was out the door and already almost to his cabin. He burst through the door and threw himself on the black satin sheets of his bed. He sobbed into the pillow. That hadn't solved anything just made it worse. And now Percy knew something was up.

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**The part about Nico cutting himself was not planned at all. It just happened. Idon't know if I should continue this so I will let you guys decide if you want more. Despite how this story sounds I really like Nico but he's so easy to do an angst story on. Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well I got bored and I got a few reviews saying to continue this. And I found a video/ amv for percico. I think it really fits. I can't post the link for some reason but it's on YouTube. It's called: Percico- Percy x Nico True love ( P!nk). now enough of my babbling and onto the story.**

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After Nico stormed out of cabin three, Percy stared at the door for a few seconds before his brain started working again. Percy collasped onto his bed. Nico had kissed him and more than that Percy had let him. Heck Percy had enjoyed it but he knew he shouldn't . He was in a relationship with Annabeth and he had known Nico since the boy was eleven. So it should have been weird right? Then what was this feeling. It wasn't like the feeling he got around Annabeth. Somehow this felt more powerful. And what was with the cuts on Nico's arms. They looked like Nico had done them himself. Why? Was it possible it was Percy's fault.

Percy sighed and forced himself out of bed, his mind still reeling from all the new information. He pulled on jeans over his boxers and changed his shirt. He looked in the mirror to fix his unruly hair. A dark purple bruise was already forming on his jaw. For a scrawny kid, Nico could really hit.

Percy left his cabin and headed towards the dining pavilion. He knew nobody would ask about the bruise. Well nobody but Annabeth. Everybody else would assume he got it while training. He ate quickly and to his surprise Annabeth didn't ask about the bruise. Percy was eager to leave the place because he didn't see Nico there and he needed to clear his head.

Percy headed straight for the lake. He thought about checking on Nico but decided against it.

It wasn't looked down upon in greek mythology if a guy was in love with a guy so Nico was fine the way he was but Percy had no idea where he stood on the issue. That was one thing he needed to figure out . He had liked the kiss even though it was a guy french kissing him. That had to mean something considering he should have been disgusted.

When Percy reached the lake he spotted a small dark figure. probably Leo. After the Giea thing, the fire boy had been trying to figure out to free Calypso for her island which apparently involved Leo being near water. But as Percy neared the figure he realized it was Nico not Leo. The black haired boy was crying and had the blade of a knife pressed to his neck. Without another thought Percy was running towards the figure. He hoped he would get there in time.

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**I will most likely finish this. I decided to do this in Percy s pov cause it seemed more appropriate than keeping it on Nico's. I will continue this if I get least two reviews saying to. I did not plan for Nico to try to kill himself until halfway through this chapter. What am I doing to you Nico? I can't believe I did that to him. Leo and Nico are my favorites. Well hope you liked it. Please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

I** finally got inspiration to continue this. I got the inspiration from the song How do I live without you by Faith Hill. Its a nice song and you can choose to listen to it while reading or not. It really doesn't matter. Hope you like this. Oh and I keep forgetting the disclaimer. I do not own Percy Jackson. I only own the plot of this story.**

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Percy reached the dark-haired boy and practically ripped the knife out of his hands. He tossed it behind him not caring where it landed. He grabbed Nico's face and gently ran his fingers over Nico's throat. There was a small bit of blood but nothing serious. Suddenly Percy pulled the smaller boy into a hug. He heart had stopped when the prospect of Nico dieing became a reality. It was enough that Percy realized how much Nico meant to him. This was the boy who he had rescued time and time again. This was the boy who had his back even when he thought he didn't need it.

Percy pulled slightly away from Nico only to lean forward to kiss him. The other boy's eyes widened at this but he soon responded to the kiss. When they pulled away Nico asked," What did you do that for?"

" I can't imagine life without you. Please don't ever try to kill yourself again." Percy once again buried his face in the crook of Nico's neck.

"Perseus Jackson!" An angry voice yelled. They both looked up to see Annabeth standing a few feet from them with her hands on her hips. Judging from the look on her face, she had been standing there quite awhile. Both boys exchanged a look that said, '_We're so screwed." _

Percy grabbed Nico and pulled him into the water. That was really the only place where they were safe at least for a short while. And despite the current situation, Nico let out a laugh. More of a giggle really, not that Nico would ever admit it. He was finally happy again.

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**I hope this didn't suck to bad. I really had no clue how to end it so I attempted to make it amusing. Hope you enjoyed it. This is the end. Hugs for everybody.* glomps everyone***


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